:c woohooo last friday :c was a sad shitty memory so let's not recall the past c: joke

I have this teacher and she kinda "hate me" not little but a LOT! i don't know what's with her last time she scolded me and became angry in a thing that "yes i did it" but it's like she pass the hatred to me :c LOL i so hate her :c and the subject 'cause it really sucks.

they said that when the pupil is not good in the subject only meaning there is something wrong with the interaction of the teacher and the student :c that's maybe it.

i can't be ,like my classmates they're kinda something :c they always force themselves to get marks.
and me? I don't do that I can't force my self if the marks wont come to me then I wont chase for it :c
well that's just me. it's has been my attitude since i was born.

when a person wants to me to chase him or her I wouldn't do what he or she wants me to do 'cause that's me i don't want to expose myself, and I really hate chasing so be it :c

although I try hard in my paintings and my drawings, well they're all the same they're somewhat messy.


I have this neighbor of mine c: he's really good in painting and drawing and everything about arts  I idolize him 'cause he create it with emotion and without hesitation he does have many many many good paintings as I've seen in his garage. c: but I never have the chance to say "kuya (kuya means brother) can I borrow a paint brush?" haha LOL.

hmmm, my serenade is tomorrow morning :c I'm nervous my heart is pumping really hard :c but I wanna sing so I have to do it and also God granted my wish so I should dedicate this to him and to my father and my Mom.

she's not here with me because she's working abroad but it's okay, as long as the bond and the love is there right? I know that someday she'll comeback and we'll be complete again. that's what I really wish but to be practical I also also want her to work there 'cause of our financial needs. :c

and we have this so called "family problems" all the time because of the mistress of my father that I have never said once in my life, only now :c we'll I know they're existence but I don't open my mouth to speak up and I always hide it to my special friends and my self the most I think it's just because I don't want to talk about it :c

but it's okay I'll just wait for the time he'll realize he's own mistakes, anyways he's old enough to know that so he should know ;c that what he's doing right now is not going to be good in the future.

anyways I still love him, i still wan't to be his daughter and I still want him to be my father even though it's like that, i'm not one of those freaks. that will cry and disrespect their parents because of their bad doings. it's just the doings right? it's not the person. I hate the doings but the person is what i love. he has been there since I first saw the colorful world that i am in now. so how could i hate him? when all he has done is love me? whether he's with that woman he has never forgotten that I existed. and he never thought of trowing me.
he stood still and watch me grow so, how can I?


that's the main reason why we should comprehend first before we take action c: