missing piece

now that i am eventually back to life (from not blogging, to blogging again) haha. though it's not that funny i just laughed `cause it seems to be cool to type in *haha.

today was another boring day like any other day and it was hot (literally). so i wanted to write a poem of what was troubling me. it's like an illness *cancer that slowly and mercilessly killing me.
___________________
something(not even a poem)

beauty in her eyes i see
beautiful in my eyes is she
but hurtfully her eyes does not see me
her body does not feel me
or the need of having me

pain in the heart is love
though they say that it is a gift from above
i could not understand how they could say it
nor did i understand how they feel it
but the love i know was always hurtful
the love i know was always toxic

ever since i was young i know this
ever since i saw them all i understood
that love was beautiful like a rose
but it could hurt you with its thorns
but why do we still love?

today was a miss
i never got to touch your lips
i should have given you a kiss
but it was all a miss
and yesterday you didn't even bother
to say how you love me so
maybe you had a change of heart
especially today because i am the reason
of all your worries.
i am the reason you are failing
i'm just a distraction
to all of the things you want to do
i am the reason to all of this
and even i try to help you it wont do

how i wish i could be gone
so you'll be happy

how i wish i could just die and never wake up one morning
so you'll have the most beautiful day of your life
i just wish to die so you wont have to make stupid fights with me
so you could just live and love the person you really want to have'
the person that is not me, i wish i could just die.

i wish.