goodnight goodnight

i really wanted to be with you, to hold you and to make you smile even just a little. to make you feel that you are not alone because i will always be here. i have always thought of you and how we could be. how it should be. i never thought of myself, not even once çause my love for you is selfless. you are my first priority - first in every thing. but i can see that your love for me is diminishing. and  what if one day you wont love me? what if i have sacrificed all for you but you have not seen it, not once because you have not love me enough to see my worth? i can feel that one day will come and you will abandon me. 

you will forsake me to be with a man because i am not for you.

while i will be doomed and broken.

because i have loved.

loved too much of what is asked

i have always asked myself why do i love you so? and i have not seem to find an answer to that question. i thought that maybe i was not really in love with you but with your existence. but i was wrong that was not the answer. love is a very difficult feeling. and it is not sufficient enough to make a relationship strong. there is always time, faith, understanding, etc. 

i have always felt worthless when i am with you

i feel that i am not needed

and you are not happy to have me as a partner

you seemed to be always on the lookout if there were others to see us

you seemed to be ashamed of me

 

because i am like this

and perhaps in your heart you have not really accepted me yet. 

perhaps it was never supposed to be

but you have changed my world when you were here. you have colored all of the black and whites and even fill the empty spaces of my heart. though you seemed to be so far away. now i am in doubt if you have truly loved me for me did or you just love me for you. 

maybe in the future you still wont love me.

because i am me.

and i am like this 

and you will never accept me.

not as your lover

i am just your secret.

never something else/